Are you prepared to sacrifice your longer term goals?
Difficult emotions guide us towards actions that avoid the discomfort that we feel. For example, if we are experiencing fear, fear will guide us towards an action that avoids the risk it sees. So, right now, if we have fear of returning to the office, or we have fear of speaking up in meetings, fear of listening to others, fear of delegating, fear of new ideas or ways of working (I could go on...!) fear has a brilliant short term solution to the discomfort: avoid or attack.
Here are some examples you may recognise in yourself (I do!):
Avoid the things that are making us feel nervous (even when there may be growth, connection or achievement on the other side)
Get defensive when we feel threatened (even though this sparks anger or fear in the other person and ultimately means we block our connection or trust)
Push people away when we feel worried about losing control (even though this will create a barrier to our own collaboration and add to the imposter syndrome we may feel)
Put on a ‘coping mask’ or take on more than we should because we fear people seeing us as vulnerable or not willing or capable (even when we feed imposter syndrome, we lose out on gaining support, and ultimately ruin our ability to create solid relationships)
People please because we fear getting rejected (even though we may be subject to group-think, poor decision making and unhealthy boundaries for our own self-care and self management)
The choices that fear makes for us may serve our discomfort in the short term, but does it sacrifice our longer-term goals?
Making choices that serve our future best self, often means we have to find a way to deal with the discomfort of our difficult emotions.
Fear wants a short term solution to discomfort but is prepared to sacrifice your longer-term goals. Are you?
Here is an article I was asked to write for Body and Soul magazine, for their Mind & Body - Wellbeing section.
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Amy helps teams use the psychology of groups to their advantage. Her programs drive connection, communication and courage for remarkable achievements. Please see The Safe Space and DrAmySilver.com