5 Steps to stop comparison’itus! Down with comparisons, up with actions
Photo by Maksim Goncharenok from Pexels
Did you find your comparison’itus went up over the Summer watching people do wonderful things?! I did. Thanks to social media we are only ever a click away from an image, post or story that will cause us to reflect on our own life and find it lacking. Theodore Roosevelt had a point when he said, "comparison is the thief of joy". It literally steals us away from satisfaction with our own life.
This post gives five ways to move beyond comparison into compassionate action!
It takes practice, but there is a way to ensure comparison works for, not against, you.
1. Recognise when you are most susceptible to comparison
Identify triggers: comparison is often more distressing when it closely reflects something that you value, or something that you think others value. Note down those values so you can see it in black and white and assess whether you think they are true or not. Reflect on whether these values serve you to lead the best life you can, or do they keep you feeling hopeless or disconnected?
2. Practice self-compassion
Your feelings are valid – there is nothing wrong with any emotion. If we are in a world that, for example, values family over career, it is normal to look for how we belong, how we prove our worth in this society. So, let’s not add shame, guilt or criticism to our natural desire to compare! Accept that comparison is one of the ways we judge ourselves and see it for what it is: a way that our brain likes to work out how we’re doing. It is not always the truth and not always useful.
3. Consider other perspectives
We only see one perspective when we look at the lives of others, we never really know the whole picture. People’s lives are just as complicated as yours, don’t oversimplify theirs because you can see one perspective on it. We know from people who appear very happy and successful from the outside that it is not always true (just think of famous people such as Robin Williams or Lady Gaga).
4. Take action
Try using comparison as a guide on what you want to do, achieve or be. Rather than spending time ruminating on how you are not it, use it to inspire you towards it. Action is how we move towards things, watching from the outside is not. Practice constructive comparison that motivates you to achieve your goals.
5. Don't let fear paralyse you
Your life is here to experience fully. We all have fears of failing, of not accessing our potential or best life, fears of missing out or of being judged. Fears push us into paralysis, fight or flight. Unless we understand how to change our relationship with our fears, we will be limited by them. Learning how to be more courageous and step beyond our fears into the discomfort of action will help us lead our best life.
Really living your life in the direction that you want to will make comparison less relevant.
Focus on YOU and YOUR goals, celebrate YOUR successes and YOUR life will feel more rewarding.
If you think someone would appreciate the thoughts in this message, please feel free to forward it on :)
In my podcast with A Higher Branch I shared some tips on how to manage our emotions and why I think fear is the one we need to master most.
Listen to the full podcast here.
AND.....In case you need to focus on your actions moving further towards the growth you know you need for yourself, you might be interested in The Courage Club