Intimidation is not good for business
If you’re in a leadership position, whether you intend to or not, you might be intimidating to others in the organisation - that’s just the way hierarchy works…
Intimidation’s benign side shows up as people getting things done and wanting to impress you with their performance. But if intimidation tips over into fear there’s a risk to workplace relationships and psychological safety. All the good stuff like taking risks, being accountable for mistakes, sharing new ideas and constructive conversations can be quickly lost if fear takes hold.
All the good stuff can be quickly lost if fear takes hold
Where’s the tipping point?
The two main reasons for increased intimidation:
There’s a legacy of intimidation in the culture or role: We are to a large extent programmed to speak when spoken to, agree with those in power and keep our heads down. We tend to become extra vigilant when near those in powerful positions. Sometimes it is just the story of previous intimidating people or positions rather than the lived experience that is enough to intimidate.
You create a level of intimidation that is extra from the position you hold: Being busy or distracted, not having time to connect at a human level can make us short with people, less open to others and their thoughts. A quick dismissal, a lack of a smile, the avoidance of eye contact, the minimalist or task-oriented conversation can, without intention, create fear for others.
A quick dismissal can, without intention create fear for others
Here are four steps you can take to ensure you are getting the best out of your team - not creating an environment controlled by fear:
Recognise whether you (or others in leadership roles) are intimidating by reflecting on the variety of ideas presented to you, or whether it is easy for you to steer the conversation. While this could be an indication of influence, it could also be an indication of group think, lack of diversity of thought, singular decision-making, and it will ultimately mean you are not using the team effectively or collectively.
Ensure you are working to chip away at the belief that there is command control leadership. Demonstrate servant leadership by welcoming feedback from others around you, showing vulnerability by asking for help and acknowledging others’ contributions.
Enable your colleagues to find their voices. This could be the first time for them to learn how to speak up, even if they are in a safe space. We want to hear their ideas and suggestions, to give and get feedback. Courage and courageous communication are things we can teach our staff, and we will be better off for it. Our culture will have higher dynamism, higher engagement and stronger agility to face into our complex future worlds.
Be aware of your micro-movements and the impact they have on colleagues. A simple eye roll, hand gesture, removal of eye contact or shuffling of papers can all signal to someone that you haven’t got the time for them. They may take that cue and layer in all sorts of stories and concerns that will set off a cortisol response in their brain and they will literally shut down the most clever part of their brain. Be vigilant - others are assessing your movements and interpreting them - if they perceive dismissal this time, they will be waiting for it next time.
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Amy helps teams use the psychology of groups to their advantage. Her programs drive connection, communication and courage for remarkable achievements. Please see The Safe Space and DrAmySilver.com